From within the tarred cloth haversack that was slung across Higgy's washboard thin body, a wee black head poked out. His button eyes grew wide with fright and his kinky black braids stood straight up.
"Lor' hab mercy on dis po' colored doll! "exclaimed John Henry.
"I'se don wanna be kilt by no webbil can'bawl!"
John Henry was a little rag doll , made from various scraps of cloth, who had been enchanted by a fairy bag lady and given life. He had been given animation,but John Henry's ambition was to be a real boy.
"Don't worry none, John Henry", admonished Higgy as he brushed his moostachios with a cootie comb.
"Being the naturalist that I am , as long as you stay hidden behind that piece of hardbread...why you'll be finer than frogs' hairs'. A reb bullet would dull on a piece of army bread as sure as my grinders do."
At that moment , a horseman rode up alongside the men of the Iron Brigade.
"Reynolds! "
The cheer went up as hundreds of tall black hats came off to salute to commanding officer of the 1st Corp. Speaking to the Iron Brigade commander, General Reynolds then turned in his saddle and pointed most emphatically in the direction of the battle brewing ahead. Within seconds, the order was given to fix bayonets and turn the column to the left. Reynolds galloped to the head of the column and waving his hat shouted:
" Forward men! Forward to hell or glory!'
Hundreds of throats cheered a mighty HUZZAH as they broke into the double quick onto the field.
Now Buford's Union cavalry had held the rebs back for a spell, but they were tuckered out and low on ammunition. They were mighty glad to see the giants of the Iron Brigade.
"Huzzah for the Black Hat Brigade!" they shouted.
Reynolds was out front directing the placement of the regiments , when a musket ball knocked him from his horse; stone cold dead. Forming a line of battle, the bully boys quickly came under confederate fire.
"Look out there now, John Henry!" Higgy warned.
"The bumble bees are a buzzin' us!"
It certainly sounded like a swarm of bees to John Henry, but it was the song of death with stingers of lead. Calmly, the boys went about their work of loading and firing their muskets as quickly as possible.
"Now remember to aim low. Shoot 'em in the guts an' all that", instructed John Make the company commander. Make was beloved by all the boys. Although only three feet in height, with a flaming red beard , his huge German saber made him the equal of men half his size.
The two armies continued to slug it out like a couple of mongrels over a carcass. Bob Potts had developed an allergy to lead and had to be helped to the rear. One of the company wags blew off his own hand while reloading. Jack Grothe had an ear pierced by buckshot.
"WHAM!"
A close explosion threw clods of dirt all over the brigade. Fortunately, Major Strother was wearing his scotchgard uniform, so he escaped without a crease out of place.
Colonel Chris Craft came forward just then.
"Major Strother, you must take your battalion forward to take those woods. You will be the spearhead of the main assault to follow. I know I can count on you and your boys."
With a crisp military school salute, Major Strother forced back the bile that was collecting in the back of his throat and drew his own wicked blade from its scabbard.
"Sir, if you ordered it, we would all gladly go to hell!"
The blue ranks gallantly surged forward through the leaden hailstorm. Some began to fall, but the brave lads pressed on.
At once, the scarecrows in the rebel army begin to get nervous. A soldier's upper lip quivers. The blue giants are getting closer. Then someone shrieks:
"My Gawd! Dat ain't no militia! Dat's dem damn black hatted fellers! It's the Army of the Potomac!"
Wedged between two Marsh Wheeling seegars in Higgy's vest pocket, John Henry gets a better chance to see johnny run.
The boys continue to fire bravely into the backsides of the enemy and are besides themselves with joy. The rebs scatter like rabbits and the battalion is ordered to follow them through the woods.
The battalion groped its way through the wilderness for about twenty minutes,then broke out into the open. The johnnies were seen disappearing over the next rise.
Major Strother halted the men and now began the work of redressing the lines. NCO's ran up and down the lines prodding a man here or kicking a butt. Most men fell down where they were and within minutes were brewing coffee and eating hardtack. Several of the officers were gathered in their own clique, smoking seegars and sipping brandy from a flask, when there arose a thundering rumble like an approaching storm.
A dust cloud a mile wide rose over the hill, followed by the tops of a hundred rebel battle flags. John Henry's button eyes nearly popped out of his rag head at the gray wall hurtling towards him. A thousand bayonets gleamed in the bright sunlight. At a command ,the rebel horde leveled their muskets as one and vomited out a horrible concoction of noise and fire.
The bully boys hugged dear mother earth, as the balls plucked at hats and jackets . John Henry tried to make himself as small a target as possible by hiding in Higgy's tin cup. A cannon belched nearby, throwing balls into the trees behind them; the branches raining down on them .
"John Henry, you git back in my haversack behind them hard crackers", scolded Higgy, plucking a splinter from the doll.
Crawling out from under the tangle of broken limbs (wooden and flesh) the battalion lost no time in heading for the rear. Some of the men accidentally forgot their rifles,coats ,and left their coffee pots behind in their haste to reform. Officers quickly restored order once the survivors had stumbled back to the opposite side of the woods. Those of the battalion who still held their weapons, quickly dug into their cartridge boxes in preparation of the advancing foe.
"John Henry, hand me up another pack of cartridges",said Higgy.
No answer. Higgy dumped the contents of his haversack on the ground, but could find no John Henry.
In the confusion of the massed exodus, Higgy's haversack had briefly snagged on a tree limb, and John Henry had tumbled out onto the forest floor. He lay on the green carpet dazed from the fall and realized he was all alone. He began to cry and feel sorry for himself, when suddenly there was a crash of heavy footsteps.
"Wot 'ave we got 'ere but a wee little dolly!"
John Henry was scooped up by the ugliest creature he had ever seen. A huge ogre of a man with red rimmed beady eyes. The beast wore the insignia of a colonel on his gray uniform. As John Henry squirmed in his oily grip, the fiend guffawed displaying yellowing teeth.
"Should ah send you to Libby Prison to be a play thing for the guard dogs, or perhaps I'll just butter your head and swallow you whole... HAW HAW HAW!" Spittle flew from his maw.
"Drop that doll!"
It was Higgy to the rescue as he sprang from the trees with a crash , a musket in each hand and two more slung across his back. The reb colonel let out a command and was joined by ten scarecrows in gray, each with fixed bayonets.
"Destroy this yank!"
The rebs unleashed a volley, but Higgy had dropped to mother earth and had fired both the weapons he held in his fists. Rolling like a dervish, Higgy yanked the other two muskets from behind him, and sent two more scarecrows to sesech hell. Using a tree limb as a club, he brained the rest till the wood turned to pulp. One reb staggered to his feet with an Arkansas toothpick , but Higgy scooped up a fire ant hill with his hat and threw it in his face. Finally a blow with a piece of hardbread,sank johnny reb to his knees.
Battered and bleeding,Higgy faced the gray clad monster. Froth dripped from the colonel's clenched jaws. He tossed John Henry to the ground and drew from his scabbard an obscene looking blade caked with gore. Thinking fast, Higgy took spoon from his pocket and engaged the colonel in a furious fight.
After having defeated ten men moments ago, Higgy was a mite tired. He dodged a wicked slash that took one of his coat buttons and parried with a slash of his own that scooped out one of the brute's eyeball's.
At the moment of truth, Higgy tripped over a root and fell backgrounds to the ground. The monster guffawed.
"HAW HAW...now I'll split you open like a ripe melon!"
John Henry seeing his pard about to be disemboweled , leaped into the air and bit the colonel right through the trousers and into his foreskin.
The colonel shrieked , dropping his sword and grabbed at his privates. Higgy rose up and rendered the monster unconscious with a blow from his number 13 shoe.
"John Henry, are you ok?"
Higgy scooped the doll up and set him in his vest pocket.
John Henry wept tears of joy as he was reunited with his pards and the bully boys cheered him manfully. Major Strother said they both should be Major General's for their deeds.
In the evening , a banjo and a song made John Henry forget about the horror's of the day as he danced atop a cracker box feeling as fine as frogs' hair to be alive.